A PL/pgSQL function without a volatility marker is VOLATILE by default. That sounds harmless but has a real cost: the planner calls the function again for every row, never pre-computes it once, and excludes it from every functional index. The damage is invisible — until the same query suddenly takes seconds instead of milliseconds. Good PL/pgSQL function conventions start … Read more
Creating a table takes thirty seconds – being annoyed about its name, its key, and its column types then takes two years. Postgres table conventions take that annoyance off the table up front: consistent names, a predictable primary key, data types without surprises, and audit columns that explain every row. Without them, a schema drifts further apart … Read more
An AI writes you a stored procedure in seconds. It compiles, it runs – and it looks like a stranger wrote it. The next artifact looks different again. Generated SQL is technically correct but stylistically arbitrary – and without an enforced convention, a generated collection drifts apart just like one five developers write by hand. The obvious … Read more
If you write a stored procedure, you write it for someone who doesn’t know it — usually for yourself, 18 months later, at 11 p.m., while an ETL run is stuck. Readability isn’t cosmetics, it’s debugging time. PostgreSQL forces almost nothing on you: names are free, indentation doesn’t matter, a RAISE EXCEPTION swallows any string you assemble inline. That’s exactly … Read more
